Uncharted territory

Somewhere dark, damp, deep inside the earth
No sound
No light
No thought
No feeling
Only numbness

The chaos of a bad dream
Knowing it to be a dream
Trying to wake up
The chaos remains all the time
The helplessness all the time

What's real?
Is real even real?
What's truth?
What it means to you?
What's mine?

A Wild Dream

I was a small child when I first watched Born Free. I don't remember the details of the film, but the name stayed on in my memory and so did the lions, the vast African landscape and the beautiful people who loved those animals. My dreams began to be filled with the adventurous life led by the family. I saw those lions as persons, not as animals who are civilized by humans. They are just like us - loving and full of emotions. And what can bind them? They are not like us, born into countries and cultures. They are truly born free unlike us humans. The dreams of the African wild still linger on in my mind. Today after I watched the war movie Zulu, shot in the grand locales of South Africa, I realized why I can see vast expanses of grasslands when I close my eyes. These are my childhood dreams of the wild that I have never experienced but they are a part of memory, thanks to Born Free. Something roars inside and cries out to be free and to be in the wild.

The Butterfly Dream

I am changing. I can feel it everyday.

I knew it when I changed myself in the past. I grew into something beautiful. The memories are still there like in a dream.

I know I am changing again. I can see the signs. I am expressing again. I am being myself once again. Here I am blabbering once again.

Every day we change in small ways, unseen to the eyes, unseen to the mind. Something changes in our heart and we are not even aware of it. It happens everyday, a bit at a time.

What we see, hear, and experience adds to our changes. I am not the same person you met yesterday. I have changed. I can feel the wings poking under my skin. I know they will make me fly one day. I will not be crawling in the dust anymore. I will spread out my wings and fly out into the sun rays. I will be a butterfly then. I will be the butterfly again.

November 23, 2015

The Cycle

48 posts since 2008

Read my blog after ages. Refreshing. Got introduced to myself. Feels like inheriting someone's blog, someone I used to know. How things change. But I have come back to this beautiful blank slate; creation waiting at my fingertips. Stories ready to pour in - a blank sheet as tempting as a blank canvas. A promise to return again... to complete the cycle of birth and rebirth of the writer in me.

Remembering that day

While describing my experience with the dog that came to me at the bus stop, I had forgotten why I was upset that day. But when I saw the date I remembered it was my redemption. You had saved me by hurting my feelings. The dog was a reminder of that.